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[Friday
February 23rd, 2007 at 2:18pm] |
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Guess who's back?
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[Sunday
May 14th, 2006 at 1:37pm] |
I had this big long entry that I wanted to write out,
but I am too tired to even think straight right now.
You will be hearing more of me,
I suppose.
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[Tuesday
November 22nd, 2005 at 8:47am] |
| [ |
mood |
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 whatever |
] |
| [ |
music |
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cold - static x |
] |
Guess what livejournal?
I am back.
I don’t think I will be posting much.
But I am back at reading people’s journals,
And possibly leaving comments here and there.
For anyone who cares?
I don’t know.
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| So i had this conversation... |
[Thursday
September 15th, 2005 at 9:56pm] |
| [ |
mood |
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 crazy |
] |
| [ |
music |
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KONG FU INSTRUCTION |
] |
WITH A PERSON WHO WILL REMAIN UNKNOWN DUE TO SOME VIOLENT CIRCUMSTANCES
I b Dahme: ninja BOOM
BOOGERFACE: ...ninja...idk SLAP
I b Dahme: KARATE chop ... waBAM
BOOGERFACE: JU-DOU KICK
I b Dahme: no no
I b Dahme: you cant be a ninja
I b Dahme: *waves champain bottle furiously in the air and points to oneself in the repition of I* I AM THE FUCKING NINJA got it hoe?
I b Dahme: I I I carry out ninja functions.
BOOGERFACE: first off...champagne...and uh...no. b/c i've got the ninja kitty so me and the kitty...yeah those would be our ninja functions nikkuh.
I b Dahme: but see you are a EFFIN pirate monkey
BOOGERFACE: that's only one of my aliases.
I b Dahme: kicks your CAR
BOOGERFACE: no.no.no.no.no. you go kick derek's car.
I b Dahme: his car = beautiful presence
BOOGERFACE: beautiful presence?
BOOGERFACE: what?
I b Dahme: PUNCHES YOU>>> didnt see that coming did you? FIREMAN
BOOGERFACE: *ducked* uh yeah b/c uh I'M A FRAKIN PIRATE NINJA
BOOGERFACE: ...
BOOGERFACE: duh
I b Dahme: yeah yeah... OH YEAH?
I b Dahme: *flicks you in the eye* ... YEAH
BOOGERFACE: uh...OW!
I b Dahme: yeah, see NO YOU DIDNT C
I b Dahme: haha
BOOGERFACE: loser
I b Dahme: OH NO
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[Monday
September 5th, 2005 at 8:21pm] |
Guess what guys?
I am a horrible child, a very horrible fucking child.
Or so that is the impression I give my mother and step-father.
You see I dont call him dad anymore.
That is not right on my behalf.
Nothing is right on my behalf.
So fuck it.
thEnd,
Just felt you needed to know that guys.
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[Friday
August 19th, 2005 at 6:42am] |
This has been one of the worst weeks by far.
I have school.
I have a mother who is influenced by her husband.
That is not my dad or anything close to it.
How the fuck could you hate your child?
Okay,
Maybe I could see if he murdered someone,
Or did something so horrid you were ashamed of them,
But what the fuck did I do?
This is going to be a bad year,
I can feel it creeping up my spine.
She doesn’t fucking care.
I will bring you down with me if I have to.
I am out.
Dommi
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| and it goes on... |
[Monday
August 8th, 2005 at 6:28pm] |
| [ |
mood |
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 not really sure |
] |
| [ |
music |
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B quiet 05 - merriwether |
] |
He looked at her from the room afar. There was something about her, a magnificence so brilliant he did not know himself she had within her. Of course, she was modest and never showed any of her true beauty. With the lowest esteem, she went day by day unnoticed by many and keeping to herself a lot, never letting anyone in.
Mistique was one of those unique people that come around every blue moon. No one really knew what to make of her. They would pass her and always want to know about her. Always made fun of her, no one really was ever on her side. She was in a great downfall in life, and kept going down all the more. Did anyone ever see it? No, why would they? It is not like people notice the small things anyways.
I haven’t written in a long time and what not.
I just got a new laptop and such.
I will be writing my novel more.
I will begin to reconstruct it,
The way I want it.
With no illusions to real life,
Just the way it should be.
I have been really feeling like shit lately.
For reason I don’t wish to talk about.
So don’t ask.
I don’t think it is stupid either,
Everyone goes through it.
Some more than others,
And I happen to be the some that gets it the worst.
I am tired,
Sick and tired,
And all I want to do is sleep.
But change does not come on its own.
I am out…
Dommi
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[Thursday
August 4th, 2005 at 5:20am] |
I really don’t know what the fuck is wrong with me?
I mean,
No one sits up every night,
Thinking thinking the way I do,
About everything in my life,
And everything in other peoples life,
Or about the people around them…
I do care too much and people don’t see it.
I try to hard,
And I hate myself for it.
I hate being like this.
I hate crying myself to sleep…
I hate crying when no one sees me….
I wanted to write so much more,
But I can’t even bring myself to do that nowadays
It’s like there is a fucking block,
I don’t know what it is
Where it’s coming from
I just know its there
Blocking my way
And I can’t get rid of it
I can’t penetrate it
I can just sit back and let everything happen
Day by day
and yes your mom did pass away
and i cant stop crying
i couldnt believe it would hit me so hard
you always and have always had my love,
no matter how much we have been in hate of each other
youve always been there
and we have those memories of everything
and i regret ever not being there for you
or being a bad friend
but i would never wish bad upon you
as others have,
i feel bad
i have always felt bad
and i just dont know why
maybe its me?
its always me
why also,
do you feel the need to rag on me?
i mean everyone does it,
so you cant show me anything,
i mean what the fuck?
am i not right there too
i would like to know what you are talking about
fuck off i dont need any of you
laugh now,
ill be the one laughing later
i am violent,
you just dont know...
maybe youll come to find out
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[Wednesday
August 3rd, 2005 at 1:26pm] |
So I thought I liked this boy,
Yeah,
Well I guess I don't stand a chance.
LIKE EVER
I hate boys with girlfriends,
Or boys that like girls...
I mean wtf!?
ps. There actually could have been something there.
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[Sunday
July 31st, 2005 at 5:19pm] |
i have a horrible life
and no one can understand
and dont fucking tell me oh someone else has it worse
this is the worst it can get
so fuck off
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| Shut the fuck up! |
[Saturday
July 30th, 2005 at 1:23pm] |
| [ |
mood |
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aggravated |
] |
| [ |
music |
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never there - strata |
] |
I felt it was a time for an update,
since I haven’t done it in such a long time.
this is sort of going to be my vent area for the time being,
so if you don’t want to read it go the fuck away.
K THX…
Anyways,
Why do I always have to be the one going around finding something to do for people?
Once I would like to receive a phone call,
It going something like this…
“Hey, what are you up to for tonight? Want to do something?”
No one ever really thinks about me anymore.
It’s like everyone has better people they could be around,
And forget about their old friends,
Oh but when they need something they call.
That is so not right.
Oh and this doesn’t apply to you… (McGee)
I know you are always there for me,
Even when we get into fights or upset with one another.
I am just sick of seeing people I know when I go out.
I am like hey,
So blah blah blah what have you been up to?
What are you doing tonight?
Oh, well that’s cool.
Yeah I am going to a party in a while,
Oh you want to come?
Yeah come along it will be fun.
But it’s never you,
Oh hey doode!
I haven’t seen you in a while,
What are you up to for tonight?
Want to come hang out with us or something?
I make plans for my friends that I hang out with,
They are two people… count them 1 fucking 2…
Okay occasionally 3,
But that is on occasion,
I make plans around them to have fun.
Its hard when no one else wants to join you,
Or is to fucking busy doing other shit.
The summer was a waste.
I didn’t do anything special.
I didn’t get anything special.
I didn’t find anything special.
I feel so fucking ugly.
I feel so fucking hurt.
Go away.
I am out…
Dommi
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[Friday
July 22nd, 2005 at 4:54am] |
sometimes it feels like we are stuck in our own prison
where we hate ourselves,
but everyone is so complicated and strange,
that makes them so beautiful.
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| Emotions running high. |
[Sunday
July 17th, 2005 at 1:25pm] |
| [ |
mood |
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 no feeling to describe this |
] |
| [ |
music |
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screaming in my head... |
] |
MistiqueDrake: i hate poeple
MistiqueDrake: i especially hate people who treat me like shit
MistiqueDrake: i hate people who take advantage of me... or my money
MistiqueDrake: i hate people who use me
MistiqueDrake: i hate people who have almost gfs or like someone
MistiqueDrake: i hate boys with gfs.
MistiqueDrake: i hate girls that are fucking brain dead but guys cant resist them
MistiqueDrake: i hate being me.
RareImperfections: sorry
RareImperfections: shitty day?
MistiqueDrake: how about shitty life.
MistiqueDrake: from day one i have been getting screwed and i am just fed up with it
MistiqueDrake: no matter how hard i try to make someone happy i cant... and then they are like its not you its me but when someone else comes around fucking... like idk even how to describe them
MistiqueDrake: not even better than me... but anyways they seem to make that person float on fucking wings
MistiqueDrake: what the fuck do i do wrong? what is wrong with me?
MistiqueDrake: i have a great personality and a lot going for me...
MistiqueDrake: okay so i may not be pretty
MistiqueDrake: but what the fuck.
MistiqueDrake: ... i hate people.
I don’t know what has been wrong with me lately. It seems like I want to change but nothing has progressed. I used to be popular and now, now its just like I am dying slowly and becoming “shellish.”
I seriously hate waking up in the morning to be myself. I have a mother who fucking loves me deathly, but a step father who hates me more than an anorexic person hates food.
I try and try over and over to make people happy, but no one really ever worries about making me happy. They move on and make new friends and forget about me. I barely go out with anyone else than my other friends. YES I HAVE A FUCKING TRUST ISSUE. Get the fuck over it.
I sit here crying, and I don’t why I am crying. Maybe its because I hate you, or maybe its because I hate myself more than anything. I can’t say I don’t care anymore, because I care a little too much.
I don’t even know my thoughts anymore. I want to tell someone everything, everything from like the beginning, but I can’t. I never can, not even my closest friends. It hurts me because I feel that they won’t understand, and I guess I have always had a problem expressing myself.
I hate the way I am. I hate everything about it. I hate the way people hate me. I hate the way everything works, and how it just doesn’t seem to ever work for me. Sure I am okay when I kiss that person, but it’s not a forever lasting thing. I can say that when we are dating, but you know with me it won’t ever happen so why even mention it.
I am out…
Dommi
And there is so much more,
this is just not even covering the basis of it.
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[Saturday
July 16th, 2005 at 2:49pm] |
Hey,
Going to hang out with the people today,
And some more cool and awesome people.
If you want to hang or just come by,
Call me or something rather.
Call the cell,
Doesn’t matter what time because
I will be out to at least 2 in the morn’
So yeah hit me up kids
225 892 8178
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| okay, i will write a longer entry later, but this should do for now. |
[Thursday
July 14th, 2005 at 1:32pm] |
| [ |
mood |
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 melancholy |
] |
| [ |
music |
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helena - my chemical romance |
] |
I have a problem,
Of which I can’t talk to anyone about.
Because I am a loser,
And I just beat around the bush most of the time.
I need comfort,
I want to stop crying at least once a day,
Or not be close to crying,
I just want to be happy,
Because that feeling left me numb a long time ago.
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[Sunday
July 10th, 2005 at 5:58pm] |
Last night,
I found out something about myself.
I found out a couple things,
And honestly,
Some of these things scare me.
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[Saturday
July 9th, 2005 at 6:57pm] |
| [ |
mood |
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 i will be okay. |
] |
| [ |
music |
| |
helena - my chemical romance |
] |
I am going out tonight.
Anyone who wants to come with,
Call me.
225 892 8178
I am out…
Dommi
thEnd
ps. THIS IS SOME BULLSHIT. endofstory.
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| Stance. |
[Sunday
July 3rd, 2005 at 4:37am] |
| [ |
mood |
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 weirdly frustrated. |
] |
| [ |
music |
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the quiet things that no one ever knows - brand new |
] |
So, all my chick friends are hotter than me.
This is what they say.
You know,
The people that say it all the fucking time.
I seriously quit.
I am out...
Dommi
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[Friday
July 1st, 2005 at 2:59pm] |
Hey guys and girls,
I am going out with my friends.
Call me if you want to hang out.
We are looking for shit to do.
225 892 8178 my cell
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| The thoughts that linger... |
[Friday
June 24th, 2005 at 9:08pm] |
| [ |
mood |
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 fed up. |
] |
| [ |
music |
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dont stay - linkin park |
] |
I don’t know why,
But lately I have been feeling…
Like a fucking rag doll,
That is being passed around,
From friend to friend,
And from boy to boy.
It hurts my feelings that when…
People can call me when they have nothing BETTER to do
People can call upon me when they are down and looking for someone to cheer them up
People can call for my help
People can call upon me when they need someone to listen.
What about me?
Where is my person to call when I have nothing BETTER to do?
Where is my person to call when I am down?
Where is my person when I need to be cheered up?
Where is my person to call for when I need help?
Where is my person to just sit and listen to me?
Even if it’s just ranting or rambling out my ass.
Most of all where is my person that can make me feel comfortable no matter what.
My perfect color brown boy is no longer.
I wish to expel all the memoirs of him,
Of everything that happened,
Of how I used to see him,
Just of every fucking this I ever wasted on him.
I am tired,
I can’t sleep.
I am awake,
I can’t do anything.
I have no where to do,
Nothing to do,
No one to give my time to.
Sleep all day,
Awake all night.
What kind of life is this?
Saturday night,
Yeah sure it’s great
At times,
Where do you go when you have outlived your welcome?
Who is there to turn to?
Sometimes things get boring.
I am boring.
I am death…
And I am out…
Dommi
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mistique_drake's journal